A far too common situation. I empathise with you. I'm not someone who invests in blame for I believe it achieves little or nothing and usually exacerbates an already unstable and negative situation.

You are a real and full and genuine person. It is human to seek approval and acceptance of others but, if you can, try to avoid that.

All of us are unique and all of us are of worth. Sadly, too many human beings are conditioned in false values, ideologies, beliefs and notions of what is a delusional concept of what constitutes 'success'.

I'm not fond of platitudes and cliche´s but the fact is that you have strength and courage, else you wouldn't have shared this publicly. Believe in yourself and that strength and courage and forward in whatever way you can. It doesn't matter if you stumble, it would be normal for you to be unable to just dismiss or forget the pain, but neither of those factors can stop your determination. You deserve to be respected for who you are and supported in achieving a worthwhile, peaceful, calm and enjoyable life.

There are perhaps less people out here who recognise and accept that but those who do are far more real and have far more integrity than those who don't. The majority are not always, indeed are rarely right.

Take care. Stay safe. ☮️