A valuable piece that I consider is perhaps even more important for men to read than women or non-binary identifying individuals.
The indecent intrusion of anyone into another's personal space, let alone non-consenual touching of intimatel or indeed any part of t he body is, of course, reprehensible & a sign of a sick mind or distorted behaviour by those who commit it.
However, leaving aside the appalling nature of that behaviour but not to discount it, the article raises another related issue in my mind that I still feel goes relatively unremarked or discussed and which, in my view, ccontributes not a little to unfortunate aspects of much male behaviour towards females.
Perhaps I am mistaken or naive or just a 'man' but I think that, in what may seem a contradict some of the content or, alternatively, may go part way to explaining "I couldn't help but wonder what inspires men t study vulvas ...".
What I am speaking of is the mystery of the female body to men. I do not mean this in some erotic way. I refer to the fact that the biological differences between male and female are such that female sexual organ is hidden whilst the male one is on blatant display.
In addition, the understanding of sexuality and feelings that accompany it, I believe, are more accessible to females because of the onset of menstruation and development of breasts. I think that these bodily changes result in earlier maturity of girls than boys and the likelihood of more discussion, explanation or consideration of sex, its role and its psychological & social impact.
I readily accept, however, that I speak or write as a male and may be inadvertently voicing conditioning or a skewed understanding. I don't think so but am open to information that will enlighten me.
Unfortunately, I have been unable to find it again but a couple of years ago I read a report of university research with male medical students. The study required them to draw and also to describe the parts of the female reproductive system. I can't recall the findings with accuracy but do recall that the knowledge was poor. The vast majority of students not only had little idea of the relationship of uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries, cervix, vagina, etc. but in many cases couldn't even name many of these organs.
To me, this illustrates the ignorance of which I write and is all the more significant in that this was the understanding of males particularly interested in medicine, smart enough to enter medical schools and presumably, with a significant interest in understanding the human body.
If that is the level of understanding of well educated & intelligent medical students then what can we expect of the average male?
I don't write this to excuse male misbehaviour at any level. I have sought over many years to understand my own sexuality and feelings and that of girls and women generally and those with whom I've had close relationships.
Whilst I have, I believe, never conscously abused any female - or male for that matter - with the benefit of age, hind-sight, study & interaction, I have come to believe that, in fact, I have abused females.
I have never assaulted a female physically nor forced sex or continued it if a partner has indicated wanting it to cease. Indeed, those with whom I've been physically intimate would tell you that if a woman shows even the slightest discomfort then my arousal and erection almost instantly dissipates.
However, I feel sure that I have often failed to understand female interpretation and psychological effects to some situations or actions and certaintly I have had sexual relations for which I didn't have specific 'consent' but only what seemed to be the willing and active engagement of my partner.
Put simply & more briefly, I feel that our society needs to teach children about their bodies and likley feelings and experiences in a much more comprehensive way and in co-educational settings, not sex separated classes or groups.
In my view, until male and female are provided with open, non judgmental information that explains and allows discussion exploring not only their own sexuality but how that affects their intimate partners, we are unlikely to minimise either the deliberate abuse or the discomfort or fears such as your article raises.
I apologise for the length of my comment but this area is of great interest to me and has caused me much angst, sleepless nights and remans a cause of chronic depression for women are highly important in my life and I wish to hurt, harm or cause discomfort to none of them.
