Correlation is, of course, not causation. So you are right not to take it on board and to advise others not to do so, either, because it is actually about the other person, not about you.
At the same time, I'm not sure that I accept that it is anything of which to feel proud. I'm more in tune with your implied advice that despite potential initial feelings of hurt, negativity, a bruised ego or whatever, the reality is that if you simply accept it as another experience, treat the rejector without rancour - even with grace, as you did yourself - then it will cease to matter.
That, I think, suggests a somewhat paradoxical aspect to rejection, i.e. that accepting it takes away its power to hurt.
...
I have great respect for Sylvia Plath's work but I'm no fan of 'trying'. I was constantly assailed with the adage: "if at first you don't succeed, try, try, again". Much later, as a teacher, I learned that this is *not* the sound advice that it so readily believed to be.
Persistence is, as are so many attributes, one that can also be a flaw. If applied too consistently it can prevent or interfere with rational thought, which if applied, would suggest that perhaps one ought to try an alternative method or stop that activity completely and attempt another one. As Einstein said, the definition of insanity is ,"doing something over and over and expecting different results."
This is a lesson that I've never quite learned, despite my articulating it here. I was so conditioned to "trying" that I still can't stop. In fact, if you ask anyone who knows or has known me, they'll almost certainly mention that I'm very trying.
As last, however, I'm beginning to realise that it is time to stop banging my head against the wall - it isn't making even a dent, (in the wall, that is, however my head is really a mess). As I've come to this conclusion, I've also realised that another faux pas is to believe or feel that one must achieve 'success'.
The problem with 'success' is that what defines it for one person might be what defines failure for another. Indeed, each of those terms is relative and, usually, misleading. Achievement of contentment, satisfaction, a personal objective or improving one's own or someone else's life is a worthy definition, I believe, as well as an inclusive one. Unfortunately, I think it is not a commonly understood one.
Gee, I am long-winded. This is supposedly just a comment. Perhaps, though, it is testament to the value of your piece that it has prompted this degree of attention from me.
In essence, my point is that 'acceptance', of oneself and of others, is what will bring resilience, contentment and self-confidence.
Coupled with an ability to see that others may and probably will have a different perspective than oneself and that such is legitimate and o.k., acceptance & understanding are what give one real strength to persevere, regardless of the impediments or obstacles one may face.
