Enjoyed your letting it all out. Sometimes, I think, we all need to do that.
I don't know enough about mobile phones, let alone those produced by Apple, (despite having had most models since the 3gs), because I don't like phones and only have one because it became cheaper and more convenient than a landline with the added benefit of being readily available in an emergency.
I still use a 'camera', camera for photography but do occasionally use that on my SE2 for preparatory or 'noting' use.
Most features I don't use nor care about at all. Indeed, I would like to see an economy, (and I mean inexpensive), priced iPhone designed primarily for communication as opposed to a multiple-use device with music, video, fancy imitation cameras and whatever all the other fancy features are.
I simply want a phone on which I can initiate or respond to others with whom I need to keep in touch.
For my last part of *my* rant, let me say that I find it quite a paradox that, on the one hand Apple (and others) have followed design trends to ever smaller and lighter and thinner desktops and laptops yet, with a device designed to be carried largely on the person, they just get bigger and bigger. Excuse me, but isn't that somewhat contradictory?