I doubt that any words I can say can lessen the trauma you experienced. All I can think to do is to apologise for the appalling abuse that some men inflict on women or girls and then, even often after counselling, supposed repentance or repatriation, demonstrate that they still haven't 'got it' - to use a coloquialism.

I continually find myself feeling ashamed of my sex. I do know that sexual harassment, abuse or violence is not simply caused by someone being a 'bad' person by a complex of factors, not lease of which are cultural, conditioned, biological and 'norms' inculcated by peer group and others.

I also know that context and the behaviour, attitude or character of the victim does not mean that they are to blame.

I do believe that our society makes a great mistake in this and many other areas because its tendency is to focus on symptoms, if indeed it focuses on anything at all.

Until we seriously, exhaustively and diligently seek to discover and remedy the actual underlying causes for obnoxious and intolerable behaviour such as sexual and domestic violence, in my view it will continue and perhaps even escalate.

I also believe that it needs far more males to speak out and condemn such behaviour as well as not tolerating, accepting or hiding it when and where they know of it.

Yes, there can be genuine and innocent misunderstandings or carelessness in the course of relationships, however these are no excuse for an approach turning into more.

Our society and its governments, authority figures and influencers need to model sensitive and caring and honest behaviour and ensure that poor cultures are changed. All too often toxic cultures exist in the very organisations or institutions most involved in supposedly preventing such events and protecting the vulnerable from them, not least the police forces and armed services but neither absent across the board.

300,000 years of homo sapiens and there are far too many instances of 'cave-man' culture, (or at least how that is portrayed). Where are the people with the courage, conviction intellect and authority to stop this? Where is the same in the collective society?

I don't see it or see it rarely, the exception rather than the rule. Its continuation and spread aided by obnoxious stereotypes, appalling media sensationalism, an accusative judicial system, an adversarial political system and a continuing ubiquitous belief that males ought to be 'dominant'.

lt needs to be stopped. Things need to be changed. No woman should have the need to write about an experience of an event such as yours because they should never happen.

It is probably of little worth but other than my personal efforts for change, I can't think of more that I can do here so, on behalf of the male section of the population, I apologise that so many of us have still not learned how to respect the sex that gave us life, nurtured and protected us.

Take care. Stay safe. ☮️