" I say we have intention as we exist and make choices that affect outcomes."

I agree, at least as far as my experience & observation has shown. However, I did not claim that human beings don't have intentions. Some do and perhaps some don't; I can't speak for the whole of humanity only those of whom I have some knowledge. However, my suspicion is that the high probability is that all human beings, at least at some time, have intentions of one sort or another.

The point is, that a human being having an intention or intentions is not equivalent to the notion that life has terms. Indeed, the concept is a bizarre one unless by terms we are to understand simply the necessities for survival and, even then, it would be an arguable concept as nature continually produces life and destroys or prolongs it just as readily and often in contradiction to what might be expected in terms of the conditions.

"I am not a victim of my choices or anyone else’s unless I perceive these choices as victimization."

My intention here is not to be rude to you but that is nonsense.

Yes, I understand and agree that it is possible for some, in some situations, to choose not to adopt the characteristics of a victim and instead to gain strength, determination or some other benefit from adversity or suffering or harm or whatever negative experience they have had. - That does not change the reality that they may have been a victim.

If you are raped will you say that you have not been a victim? If your child is killed, will you say that you have not both been victims? If a young girl dressed in a short skirt and tight blouse walks out at night on her own and is sexually assaulted, is she not a victim? Did she victimise herself? Is she the perpetrator of her own assault?

I think not. When you suffer a harmful event then you are a victim, even when the event was unintentional.

What is being talked about in Lee's article is actually about how one reacts to an event and how one perceives its cause and effects. It has nothing to do with 'life's terms' because life has no terms, it just is.

I can agree that we can make choices about our experiences. I choose not to 'blame'. It took me a long time to achieve that ability but, for many, the experiences I've had and perfidy I've suffered in both small and large ways, would cause them to blame those responsible.

Therapists may be well motivated, caring people devoted to helping people. Many of them, I think are such. However, the very fact that they consider themselves possessed of some 'wisdom' that another doesn't have is a notion of superiority which I decry.

Today's society is replete with self-styled experts in all manner of fields, not least & yet most potentially damaging are those who profess to know the 'secrets' of how others can live better lives. They cite pseudo-psycho prescriptions with as little validity as the mythical nonsense aired every day by lay-preachers who make millions from gullible people who are least able to separate fact from fiction and most suggestible to myth sold as truth.

It is not our perception that makes us a victim. What makes us a victim is being victimised.

It is flawed to confuse the two. I agree that living as a victim can become a habit and, by definition, a habit is largely "self perpetuating". Given determination, an appropriate context and environment and enough time, it can also usually be broken. Those factors are not always present.

I have a particular reason for feeling so strongly about this issue:

The notion that one chooses to be a victim and, even worse, is responsible for one's own victimisation is precisely how the 'have's' justify the inequity and perfidy that maintains and increases inequity in society by blaming the 'have nots' for their own disadvantage.

It is blame the victim supportive rhetoric. As such, I cannot and will not support it.

If my words seem strong it is because of how I feel about charlatans, fraudsters, pseudo-experts, injustice and inequity in our world.

I am not suggesting that your response was unreasonable or that you are in any way a 'bad' person. I appreciate your response and value it and the spirit in which it was written.

....

As I wrote this response I discovered that Israeli troops had just shot three hostages. They were Israeli men abducted by Hamas fighters on 7 October. They were not with Hamas but were walking, shirtless and unarmed and holding white flags.

I also listened to an Israeli official stating that it was an accident and that the Israeli troops didn't know that they weren't Hamas members and so, being afraid for their lives, they shot the men dead. - It wasn't their fault!

Those three men were victims twice. Were they responsible for their own victimisation. Were they the perpetrators because they were Israelis? Was Hamas responsible because its fighters abducted them? Was Israel responsible because its soldiers shot them needlessly?

It is easy to engage in psycho-babble. There is too much of it in our society. We need intellect, rationality, freedom from 'experts', particularly self-styled ones, and we need to learn to share and care and prioritise equity and peaceful, sustainable and reasonable quality life for all.

Take care. Stay safe. ☮️ #BORC