I'm glad that you've been able to resolve for yourself what is a very common issue.

However, it *is* difficult, for as you say, "it takes tenacity, intention and a steadfast dedication. It takes time, well invested time, practising new ways of thinking and responding to life on life's terms."

That *is hard*. In some ways, it is impossible. One cannot respond to life or anything else except on one's own terms and, surely, that is exactly what you have done, given your description of it.

The reality is that 'life' has no 'terms'. Life is simply existence, our being alive. We are subject to all manner of influences and conditioning, much of it quite insidious. We can be responsible for ways of thinking that cause us to feel guilty but that is not the same as 'being guilty'.

It is common today, particularly among therapists of all manner of perspectives and persuasions, to tell victims not to be victims. Whilst that can be seen as a useful and positive thing to do, it has as do most simplistic notions, other not so positive potential. Indeed, for some it will just add insult to injury.

So, as much as I admire your own ability to come through a trauma and to accept the therapist's implying that "somehow I (you) were to blame" and yet persevere, my view is that for some this could have turned out very differently.

Perhaps, that is why I have little trust in therapists, alongside the reality that complexities of significant and particularly nasty or harmful events will rarely be solved by simplistic processes.

No great art was ever produced using a 'paining by numbers' approach, even though there are many who do it and make livings by successfully selling it to gullible and undiscriminating buyers. Life and its experiences, likewise, cannot be lived by numbers.

Take care. Stay safe. ☮️

#BORC