It is sad that so many experience pain reflected in this poem.

I find the form interesting and intend to try it. At the same time, I feel an awkward and jarring repetition in some of the rhyme, particularly where the sounds are hard.

Many lines also seem contrived, I think because of the limits of the form. Both this and the jarring, for me, take away from the flow and evocative beauty of well chosen words that I suggest is implicit in poetry.

So, I suppose, in conclusion I see this more as a useful exercise than a form likely to produce emotive poems of real impact.

I look forward to reading some others and would welcome suggestions if anyone has any, particularly if they overcome the issues for me that I've mentioned.

Take care. Stay safe. ☮️

#borc