Yes. I don't wish to hurt anyone but often feel that I have. Psychologist and other supposed experts tell me that I most probably haven't hurt the other in these situations but rather that the other has chosen to be offended or hasn't even noticed.

I think that both of those situations can be true, but also still believe that I can offend, even inadvertently, through lack of empathy, simple mis-communication or being too outspoken.

I do think, however, that in probably more cases, the other person hasn't even noticed or felt any offence and what has really happened is that I have been focused on self rather than the other person. In other words, again perhaps unintentionally, there is some element of hypocrisy involved.

Now, I try avoid using 'sorry' and to 'apologise' with a qualification as to why I feel I should, including the issue which has caused that feeling.

Saying 'sorry' for almost anything, is a little like 'crying wolf', I think. At least in the case of those with whom one has most contact. Eventually, they may come to consider your words as without meaning - and that you are not really 'sorry' at all.

So, I think I agree with most of what you say, the only significant difference being that I'm not sure this is more an issue for women than men because I feel it is a symptom of not being valued or 'feeling' valued enough as a child. I'd be interested in reading any research that has been done into this issue for surely there is a PhD thesis somewhere that has looked into what is a fairly common phemonenon.

If, indeed, it does occur more commonly among women than men, then I think it would be a result of thousands of years of patriarchy, largely produced by religion, which has painted women as subservient to man based on mythical tales of 'creation' and 'God's Word', which, of course, is nothing more than the words of male human animals.

Take care. Stay safe. ☮️

#borc