Yes, I fully agree.
It is all too common for the victim to be blamed.
It is also all too common for the male to be blamed. - No, hear me out please...
What I mean is that both in the cases you have so rightly brought to attention in your post, 'conditioning' is very likely to be in effect. You have made that point in relation to the female victim and it is right. In no way am I suggesting that they are responsible for what happens.
Nor am I excusing or condoning those men who coerce or force women into sexual or any other form of unwanted behaviour.
All I mean is that men are strongly conditioned, still, towards false notions of what they should be, how they should act or even, ironically, 'what makes them a *man*'.
Conditioning may be overt but predominantly it is covert, insidious, happening without the awareness of the subject. This is true for both sexes, however its effects, at least in the sense of victimisation, harm, trauma and such, are far more likely to be suffered by women than men.
So, your article is important to me because I am a man but one who has learned to overcome my conditioning and respect women. Whilst I believe that society needs to act to change the insidious stereotypes and false notions about responsibility and behaviour that conditioning brings about, I think that *most importantly* it is men who need to learn, at an early age, that many of the role models with which they are presented, whether deliberately or accidentally are inappropriate and *harmful*.
As schooling is predominantly about socialisation, rather than education, this (as well as positive parenting) is a good place to start to tackle this issue.
Children need to be encouraged to learn and understand about both the similarities and differences between the sexes, both physical and mental.
They need to be presented with and in guided discussion analyse aspects of culture and social behaviour, language, entertainment, interaction, roles, stereotypes, expectations, opportunities and such that are presented to them through advertising, magazines, career suggestions, children's stories, games, sports and more, including their equivalents in the digital world.
They need this not only in single sex groups but also in combined groups and with sensitive and skilled teachers or guides who don't proselytise but rather seed and encourage children to both question and to answer questions and to consider how they would feel in particular situations and what consequences may result from certain behaviours.
However, at present, my view is that what I suggest is a pipe-dream. I acknowledge and commend all those who are designing and implementing programs and attempting to prevent this abuse. My feeling is, though, that although those involved are dedicated and caring, they predominantly are dealing with symptoms rather than causes and are not well supported by the environment in which they attempt to make a difference. - It is very hard to make significant change when the majority of what happens in the society all around you portrays a message quite opposite to the one you are trying to give.
I apologise for the long comment but this issue is one about which I feel very strongly. I have struggled to understand for most of my life and, indeed, increasingly so as progressing through adulthood I realised the extent of this problem. Now, for instance, somewhere in the world a woman is killed by her partner every 10 minutes.
