Yes, you are right in that such is how most of us find it. I have suffered from self-loathing for many years, indeed for most of my life. I am still not immune and perhaps that experience is what prompted me to respond to the post.
The thing is, (in my views), that the very cultural and social conditioning to which I referred as creating the stereotypical body images that we admire or to which we aspire, is also responsible for the existence of adages, proverbs, axioms and clichés such as ‘easier said than done’. (Please don’t take offense as I am not placing a value judgment on ‘your’ use of the term).
The reality is, (again, in my view, I accept that I may have it wrong), that what is hard is not making the change but rather coming to sufficient understanding that what seems to be and may well be the negative behaviour of others, is a ‘red-herring’ that diverts focus on the significant issue, i.e. that it is ‘self-loathing’, ‘self-demeaning’ or whatever one wishes to name it that is at the core of the problem.
In other words, what is hard is recognising that one is hurting oneself and that one need not do so. All that is required is to stop or perhaps, said better, to start loving oneself rather than hating, (disliking, finding fault with), oneself.
It is not arrogant, big-headed, self centered or immodest to ‘love’ oneself or consider oneself worthwhile, valid, useful, deserving: a person of worth.
I think it highly unlikely that any human being is perfect and, in any case, cannot imagine what that would mean. Sadly, humanity, its institutions, its religions, its ideologies, its ambitions and such continually set up notions of right and wrong, perfection and imperfection, important and unimportant and etc. None of these concepts is more than a human construct, which is one of the reasons that they differ across societies, ethnic groups, communities and so on.
Life is amazing. To be able to experience it as a sentient being with a mind and intellect and emotions and senses that allow us to also experience other forms of life, is surely enough reason to value oneself.
That so many of us, at one time or another, for short or long periods, do not sufficiently value ourselves is extremely sad and wasteful. It is *not* hard to do once one understands that it is both a valid and necessary thing to do.
It has taken me more than 70 years to come close to accepting that I am a worthwhile human being, indeed that ‘being’ a human being, being ‘alive’ makes me worthwhile. So, yes, I understand why you would respond to my comment with the cliche that “it’s much harder done than said” but I have to disagree. It is simply a decision to be made. A decision that any of can make and one that others have no control over — unless, of course, we allow them to have it.
